Dawn of a New Day

I don't generally post to this blog anymore, I've found that it's rather intrusive and I can't express myself as clearly as I would like. So, I just update general news and use my Blogger site to post my opinions and such.

 

However, allot has changed and I thought I'd do some updating.

 

First and foremost I am now officially in the Military, I'm an Officer Cadet entering into the Navy as a MARS officer. I leave for Basic April 25th and finish roughly July 12th. I may need to spend some extra time getting into shape though as I haven't had allot of time to prepare myself. I will be living for this time in Nanaimo, BC and when all is said and done, I will be choosing Nanaimo as my Home Port, so I will be relocating out West, something I've been wanting to do for a very long time.

 

Also, Julie and I have finally came to an agreement that we are both happy with and the girls will be going to Thunderbay this summer to visit for about two months. This will give them all a good chance to get to know each other again and it will provide the girls with something to occupy their minds while I'm out training.

 

I successfully completed my NOAB in March and that is when I made the decision to take the offer and join the Navy. There were other positions that I could have chosen but there were just so many different reasons that the Navy and MARS appealed to me that I decided to just run with that. I'm able to finish up my degree, I'm able to move out of NB, and I'm able to feel like I'm working towards something now and not just filling the purses of my bosses in a civilian world where your accomplishments are belittled and your efforts are usually shoveled under the rug.

 

I will miss allot of my friends here in NB, but I'm sure they are just as eager as I am to see me doing this as they are all aware of my disdain for this particular province. There's several very good reasons that our best and brightest are leaving for the West and not sticking around in the quagmire that is Atlantic Canada.

 

The girls are doing very well and they are eager to move as well. I'm really going to miss them terribly while I'm in training and I hope they don't take my being away too hard, it's all worth it in the long run, and this couldn't have happened at a better time of year either.

 

So that's about all that's really new at this point.

 

-Rob

Wow, again another long period of time passes before I start publishing to my blog again. First I have to say that the past 7 months have been added to the the top three worst years in my life.

I was laid off, I went through two relationships that didn't work out for various reasons, my car had a head gasket go and will cost roughly 1300 to fix, my daughter broke her arm, I had my gall bladder removed, Xmas will be very slim this year, and I lost a few close friends.

I have also drudged up quite a few old memories of the murder of my brother which was very difficult to do but also a bit therapeutic and necessary. I spoke with one of the investigators from that period and we emailed back and forth about the events that led up to and past the time of the murder. The course cases, the cover up by the Canadian Military because it was a French - English racism topic that the gov't didn't want Canada to hear about because of the stresses that referendum talk was having on the public.

So last month I sat down and I decided that life isn't going to run me over without a fight. I decided it was time to take matters into my own hands and to get out of the path I had been following. My first decision was career wise.

Career Decision: Over the past 15 years I have been in IT, I have worked for several companies some large and some small. I have always moved up the ladder when I switched companies and I have always excelled at my positions. Recently I began working with a smaller company out of Mississauga, Ont and things were apparent very early that it wasn't a good fit for me. I won't go into reasons why but let's say that the management system needed some work. After a year of working there it was pretty well known that my feelings about the company were very negative, I didn't want to be there, and when the opportunity came up I took a lay-off. I was very confident that i could find another position very quickly. However, 6 months later and I'm still looking. There are many jobs available but nothing within my area that would be worth pursuing. I didn't want to have to uproot the girls, move, find babysitters, apartment searching, and a host of other things at that time.

So my decision was to join the Air Force as an ATIS tech. It's a spec trade which means advanced promotion and pay as well as being something that will use my IT background. I passed the aptitude test with flying colors and my interview went very well. I'm on to the medical check and if that works out, I'm in. I will go to my 10 week basic training in early Jan or late Dec. I'm in the poorest shape of my life, but I've been told it won't be an issue, they make you get back into shape, lol.

Relationship Decision: I dated two ladies over the last year, one I miss very much but she lives in Bathurst and it was just too far for us to commute to keep things going. The other more recently was just a disaster and I'm actually glad it's over. Mainly for the safety of my girls than anything.

I have decided that I'm going to take a break from dating for awhile until I have my life worked out better, my own apartment/house, and to allow my girls to mature a bit more before they start meeting those I'm dating. My girls have a tendency to become quickly attached to people and it hurts them if things don't work out.

Outlook Decision: My outlook on life over the past year has changed dramatically. I have gone from being a happy, caring, humorous, and loving person to someone who is completely jaded on Life, Religion, Politics, and People. I have distanced myself from many of those I once called friends for varying number of reasons and with some I feel the justification for doing so is still sound. However, for those that I distanced myself from that was due to my hiding behind a mask of self-hate and depression, I have written to and apologized in my own way. I do so because it's the way i can move forward without having guilt about decisions made in haste or for the wrong reasons.

I have vowed to start being positive about life again, giving people the benefit of the doubt, and to get out more. To enjoy life again.

Allot has changed for me over the past years, my life has been one big pile of nonsensical crap and it all stems from the major events in my life never having been dealt with properly by me. I have been an emotional wreck for over 10 years. The death of my brother, the loss of someone I cared for deeply, the break up of a relationship to someone that I deeply loved, the battle for my children, and the list goes on. I needed help dealing with these issues and I never took the time to get it. That changed recently and it is really going a long way to help me cope with my emotions. No wonder I couldn't watch a sad show without balling my eyes out.

So, with these goals and the life plan I have set out I will battle on. Hopefully, the next year will bring some peace, love, and understanding my way. If not, then at least I'll know I went down fighting.

Me.

Well, I had hoped to update this a little sooner but alot has gone on.

 

I took Winter for a walk along the nature trail and as luck (or clumsiness) would have it, I tripped and fell, and landed on a peice of ice that jabbed into my right side. This started a chain of events inside my aging body, a gall stone managed to get lodged in some tube and caused a tremendous amount of pain. After about 4 hours of it, I decided to go to the emergency room and they took a bunch of tests and determined it was my gall bladder. They did a sonogram and admitted me 2 hours later for surgery. Apparently, my gall bladder was twice the size it was supposed to be. So within 12 hours I had the surgery and had my gall bladder removed.

 

I'm still actually recovering from it all, but feel much better. There are some funny stories about my stay in the hospital and I'll tell a few in a later blog.

 

The girls are doing very well and I'm especially proud of Jecynda. She's been working her little heart out helping me when I was recovering and did it all without complaint.

 

Well this has to be short, but I will update more later.

 

Robert

Wow, it's certainly been a little while since I updated this blog. I have another that I use for my personal ranting, this blog is just something I liked to keep updated for fun. So, although I'm constantly updating my other blog, I keep forgetting to come in here and do the same every now and then.

 

Things are going very well with me at this point. I've been doing alot of studying for a new exam that I'll be writing at the end of March called the CWSP exam. It's about wireless networking and such and seems pretty difficult at this point so hopefully I can get it.

 

I've been considering joining the military, Signals Officer in the Air Force or Navy, and I've already completed the aptitude test, the physical, and the paperwork. I need a few other things like the my daughters birth certificate which I never received, so that's been a pain in the butt. If I do finally decide to go, the basic training will absolutely be nasty for me. I'm sooo out of shape now. However, it will force me to get back into shape which is worth the effort. So there's that.

 

The girls are doing just ducky. Both of them have been enjoying their March break and having fun.

 

I've met a few new people along the way, and lost touch with others. Unfortunately, the last month and a half have been reallly hectic for me. I don't spend much of my time on the computer anymore so those that I know on MSN probably haven't seen me in a very long while. So my apologies to you all. However, this probably won't change much I have been enjoying myself outside of the computer realm and will be keeping it up. I've met loads of new folks and we do quite a bit of stuff, play pool, poker, go out for weekly gripe sessions at the local bar, and taking trips.

 

I do have a pet peeve though, getting back into the social circle. You notice things about the friends you make and one of my pet peeves is people that make a committment to you and then don't follow up with it. For example...Let's go play pool tonight...so you go get all ready, get your car started in the -36 degree weather, freeze your ass off starting to drive when you receive a phone message telling you they have changed their plans and "a lady" called and they need to go and help them out (this is at 11:00pm at night). So you know right off the bat that isn't true. Things like that happen all the time, so do you accept it, or move on.  My choice is to move on.

 

It's important to at least explain these things honestly, and if someone is calling you to see what's up, answer the phone and don't ignore it. There is some responsibility you owe in a friendship. Honest and respect is definately up there.

 

Other than that things are going great. I will try and keep this blog up to date with my adventures.

 

Robert

It started out innocently enough. I was tired from the days work and decided to take a manly type nap (Emphasis on Manly type Nap...not one of those wussy naps). The girls were playing downstairs so I ventured down to let them know that I was going to take a nap for a bit and to wake me if they needed me.  "Yes, Daddy," was the unanimous answer.

 

It was at that point I should have realized that evil was afoot.

 

I wandered back up stairs, and lay down in my nice comfy bed. I hadn't slept much the past few nights for some reason and it had caught up to me pretty harshly. So before I knew it I was out and dreaming of nude jello wrestling...err...ignore that.

 

The first I realized I was under attack was the woomf of a pillow to the side of the head, a few feathers lodged in my nose causing me to sneeze crazily.  The second pillow caught my sneezing frame right in the solar plexis, and a third to the side of my face.

 

The laughter finally brought me around long enough to be aware of the injustice being dealt upon me. Another smack to the forehead and one to the nose and I was up grabbing wildly for a weapon. My hands grasped a lamp....errr...put that back down, the damage would have been severe, and picked up a stuffed giraffe.  *note*....it's not mine...it was Marrissa's...errr...she left it in there....yeah...that's it.

 

I aimed carefully while being battered and let fly my first sortie.  It missed.  I got creamed again by a flurry of strikes. One of the pillow corners smacked me in the eye and my eyes were watering.  I couldn't see at all.  Next thing I know the attack is over, the air is full of feathers, and the silence was spooky. I heard the thumping of feet, the slamming of a door, and the locking of the bathroom lock.  The quiet giggling of the girls told me they were in hiding and with that the battle was over, and I was defeated.

 

However......the War had just begun.

 

Viva la Daddy!!!!